Not Tuesday
by Aracertariel
Summary: Daniel's new intern is a mystery he's determined to solve. As long as they don't die first.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: I am in a fit of updating. I am uploading a lot of things that have sat on my computer for years - some since high school, which has been more than a decade ago.

* * *

Daniel was as surprised as anyone when he was assigned an intern.

Because really, why would a college kid have the sort of clearance necessary to work in the Stargate program? He was doubly surprised when Dawn Summers became field certified. Not only certified, but passing through the certification in record time.

Dawn was practically vibrating with excitement as she stood on the ramp with the rest of SG-1 waiting for her first trip off-world. Jack commented on her lack of hardware.

She stilled for a moment before she spoke. "Yeah, I'm not qualified to carry guns. My sister was freaked enough about me taking a military internship. She said if I started playing with guns too she'd ship me overseas faster than Faith..." Her mouth snapped shut and she turned an interesting shade of red. "Well, it would be pretty fast."

"Great," Jack said. "Danny, she's your intern. You keep an eye on her."

"I'm not helpless," she retorted acerbically. "I've got one of those zappy things. And I'm killer with a crossbow."

"You mean a Zat?" Jack asked. Dawn shrugged. "Do we have crossbows in the armory?"

"No," she admitted reluctantly. "And I'm not cleared to bring personal weapons onto the base." Dawn crossed her arms and suddenly looked more like a sullen teenager than the brilliant young woman Daniel had been getting to know.

"Don't worry about it," Daniel said reassuringly. "It's just supposed to be a simple reconnaissance mission anyway. Easy."

Daniel looked uncomfortable as soon as the words were out of his mouth. Sam and T'ealc shifted awkwardly. Dawn glared at the archeologist in disbelief.

Jack glared at him too. "Daniel..."

"He's jinxed us hasn't he?" Dawn said. "Is it too late to call in backup? Get more firepower?"

The portal in the Stargate spiraled into life. The go-ahead came over the coms.

"Yeah," Jack said. "It kinda is. New plan. Since you're the one with the common sense, you keep an eye on Daniel. Got it kid?"

"Not a kid." Jack gave her a look and she relented. "Got it."

"Jack!" Daniel whined. "I'm not that bad!"

Jack turned the look on Daniel before stepping through the Stargate.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: This is becoming bigger/longer than I expected. Stuff has decided it's going to happen. This fic was originally intended to be short and funny, but then plot decided to happen. Probably starting in the next chapter. But I accidentally found them an actual bad guy, and said bad guy then insisted on actually being interesting. Phooey.

* * *

Daniel was of two minds.

On the one hand, he was vaguely impressed by what Dawn was doing.

On the other, he didn't see it lasting long or ending well for either of them.

She was projecting an aura of harmlessness that was in direct opposition to the way she had fought when the group of Jaffa scouts had first discovered the two of them translating carvings in the ruined fortress.

Dawn had killed one Jaffa and disabled two others before she had been disarmed and threatened with a staff weapon. She then proceeded to stand there looking so lost and young and _harmless_ that the Jaffa didn't even bind her hands as they had Daniel's.

She had seemed to gradually regain her confidence as the Jaffa marched them through the jungle – with gentle nudges for Dawn and rougher ones for Daniel. She was walking slowly, looking around the jungle as though she were simply taking a stroll.

After a few minutes Dawn seemed to trip.

Daniel used the word 'seemed' because he doubted that it was a coincidence that the little stumble sent Dawn rolling through the leafy underbrush down a hill where she proceeded to jump up and run back toward the ruins. Where the rest of their team had probably noticed by now that the two of them were missing.

The lead scout barked a sharp order to his only remaining uninjured subordinate. The Jaffa barely took time to salute before taking off after her. Daniel took stock of the remaining Jaffa. The leader was whole and well. The two others were not so injured that they couldn't take a shot at him if he tried to make his own escape, but if it weren't for the leader he might have risked it anyway. Daniel decided to stay put and hope that Dawn made it back to the ruins to warn Jack.

His hopes were not realized.

Despite Dawn having a head start, and being lighter on her feet than a fully armored Jaffa, it was only a few minutes before the dispatched scout returned, Dawn slung over his shoulder. She was swearing fluently in several dead languages – and at least one that Daniel didn't actually recognize. He made a mental note to ask her about it once they were out of danger.

The lead scout motioned the group forward again, emphasized for Daniel by a sharp shove from his guards. Dawn's swearing died down after a bit, only to be replaced by scathing commentary on everything from the scenery to the Jaffas' amour and body odor. Daniel wasn't sure what she hoped to accomplish. The streaming chatter only seemed to irritate the Jaffa.

Once they reached the ship, Dawn began verbally attacking the décor – a mix of ancient Egyptian, industrial and "tacky". Daniel could hear the Jaffa carrying her growling under his breath. He was almost relieved when they reached the cell block and he was roughly shoved into a little room. Dawn shrieked as she was dropped onto the floor. The door was slammed shut.

Dawn glared at the door, kicked it and gave a final shout to the Jaffa outside. "It's not even Tuesday!"

"Tuesday?" Daniel asked curiously. Dawn didn't answer right away, instead listening to the clumping footsteps of the Jaffa as they marched away.

She sighed and ran her hand through her hair. "I usually only get into this sort of trouble on Tuesdays. My sister's gonna be pissed if she finds out I got myself kidnapped by aliens on some other planet. But I guess we were about due for it. I haven't been kidnapped or seriously endangered since I took this internship."

Daniel stared, wondering if she was serious. "Do you... regularly get kidnapped by aliens?"

"What?" Dawn looked startled. "No, the aliens thing is new." She kicked the door again, staring at it sullenly. Then she looked as if she'd had a nasty thought. "It's _not_ Tuesday, is it? I mean, it wasn't on the other side of the portal-gate thingy, but is it different here? Am I going to have to worry about whether or not it's Tuesday on the other side every time I go off world?"

"What? No. It's probably just that you're with me. I tend to get captured every time we go off world. Or Jack does. Sometimes the whole team."

"Great. Might have warned me."

"What was the point of pissing them off? An angry Jaffa is a lot more likely to take a shot at you."

Dawn made a dismissive sound and started examining the lock on the door. "They're just minions. Once it was obvious that they weren't allowed to hurt us without their big bad's say-so, it was in our interest to tick them off as much as possible."

Daniel stared at her incredulously. Dawn rolled her eyes and pulled a large knife out of one of her pockets. "Angry minions are careless minions. They didn't search you either. You're welcome." She cut the flabbergasted archaeologist free, then swapped the knife for a set of lock picks and returned her attention to the door of their prison.

"At what point, _exactly_, did it become obvious they weren't going to _hurt_ us?" Daniel thought that his bruises were sufficient evidence to the contrary.

"When I made a run for it and they didn't even think about shooting at me," Dawn answered slowly. "You know, for claiming you get captured frequently, you sure don't seem to know what you're doing." With a soft click, the lock popped open.


End file.
